You are proudly South African when …

A friend sent me a list of South African-isms, so for non-SA readers, here’s a taste of life here.

1. You call a bathing suit a “swimming costume” or Cozzie
2. You call a traffic light a “robot”
3. Employees dance in front of a building to show how unhappy they are
4. You get cold easily. Anything below 16°C is Arctic weather
5. You can sing your national anthem in four different languages, but have no idea what it means in any of them

6. You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela

7. You go to “braais” ( barbecues) where you drink beer, eat boerewors (sausage) and swim, often simultaneously
8. You hire a security guard whenever you park your car
9. You regard any steak under 300g as a snack
10. You can count the national soccer team’s scores with no fingers
11. You enjoy reading about the sad state Zimbabwe’s in because it makes you feel better about conditions in your own country
12. More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election
13. People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Obvious etc.
14. “Just now” can mean anything from a minute to a month
15. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for minibus taxis traveling in the other direction

16. Traveling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway
17. Prisoners go on strike
18. You wonder if fools like Jacob Zuma might actually do a better job than Thabo Mbeki.

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